Fear and Loathing

Moments ago, I opened up my Internet Explorer browser to see this feature story on the Globe and Mail website: Canadian Couple Attacked in South African Nature Reserve. And then I scrolled down and read a about the 737 that overshot the runway in Jamaica, jostling and bloodying passengers before skidding to a halt, metres from the Carribean Sea. "This does not bode well," I said to my co-worker.

My first thought was something along the lines of "Oh god, more fodder for the fire, I'm going to spend the holidays futilely talking my way out of the 'Africa is dangerous' spiel." But once I'd finished rolling my eyes at what I tend to dismiss as Westernized sensationalism, I decided to see what the South African papers were saying about the story. As it turns out, in the Mail and Guardian – a paper that dedicates an entire section to "Crime" – there was not a single mention of the story. Why? Because stuff like this happens all the time. As it turns out, the helicopter that airlifted the Canadians to hospital was diverted from an area just outside of the reserve, where it was attempting to airlift another body.

And then (because I'm a masochist) I decided to read the comments and reactions of the readers. There was the usual idiocy of people praising Apartheid and people suggesting that the victims could have defended themselves had they been properly armed, but there were also a few that I feel bear repeating. Comments which I don't entirely agree with, but which for one reason or another struck a chord with me as this whole 6 months in Africa thing becomes increasingly tangible.

"Let's face it -- this isn't a "one-off" attack. Caucasians in South Africa have been targeted as part of a "reverse-apartheid" for years, and if you're not obviously African, in my opinion, you should not go -- there are many safer, beautiful places to visit. It's not worth risking your life over."

"This is one of the reasons I left SA to come and live in Canada, and why I will not return with my family until the SA government gets tough on crime and Mugabe-- the risks of traveling there are very real and very high (we had our car broken into the first night that we were in Cape Town several years ago, and on the same trip my wife was accosted on a train)."

"Is there no hope and future for that continent? The birth place of homo sapian seems to be rushing into utter chaos and anarchy. A shiver goes down my spine if Africa is only a preview for the rest of the worlds future."

I am not dissuaded and I'm not afraid, but I am sobered. "The risks of travelling [to Africa] are very real and very high" and that is something that I need to be reminded of. I am going to encounter people there who are well-versed in xenophobia, people who despise me for my skin colour, my gender, my affluence. I am going to encounter people there who have nothing, people who are desperate. Despite what I may have said in the past, this is not the same as travelling to Europe or Australia. This is travelling to a place where women are more likely to be raped than learn how to read. This is a place where you can be killed for your camera, your cell phone, those fake pearl earrings that cost you $8 at Claire's. This is not the same thing.

"Why Africa?" It's still a question I get asked a lot, and while once I fumbled my words - landscapes, people, animals? - now I am constantly improving my answer, responding with a conviction I once lacked. I am going to Africa because I strongly oppose the fear of difference that has seized societies worldwide, from the right-wing evangelicals in North America, who make their life's work the denial of gay rights, to the autocratic regimes of leaders like Mugabe, who systematically rape women to maintain a hegemonic rule that is destroying Zimbabwe.

I think that a lot of the problems in our world stem from fear - fear of change, fear of difference, fear of losing the ability to define one's country, religion, self. When you travel, you become more exposed to the world; and when you are more exposed to the world, you understand it a little better than you did before; and when you understand it better, you fear it less. To realize that, sometimes you have to put yourself in uncomfortable, perhaps even dangerous situations. Certain experiences are worth the risk; I'm inclined to think that this is one of them.